why does this feel like a bad dream?

well, a few more days and i'll be 18. then florida and clubs, here i come... hopefully.
i tried having fun last night.... i went out with kristina and patrick to the movies. mistake; apparantly i can't be around couples again just yet without crying. ugh..
afterwards i bummed a cigarette from patrick and courtney called wondering if i wanted to go to a bonfire with her.... which was fine because it was only freezing outside and the fire would feel good, i thought. so, went there... had pretend fun then went to the depo w/ courtney and bethany... hung out there then decided to go home around midnight or so?
anyways, i've been been to the doctor and the emergency room this week and they thought i had some sort of viral infection and dehydration... yay. i'm fine now though. now, i just need to work on the depression.... but i think the paxil might help out with that.
i have exams this week and then i'm finished for this year... then school starts back around jan. the 7th? i'm not sure... not like it'll matter because i'll still have to go to work so it won't feel like a real break. eh i'll write more later