Massive Confusion (with a side of regret)

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so torn between the decisions that I'm going to have to make in the future. I'm still in love with someone that I thought I'd gotten over....I'm slowly falling for another guy....and I've accidentally led another on to believe more than I felt for him. I'm so confused... how do I get over him? How do I fix my mistakes? Then, where do I go from there?

The one that I fell in love with.

I'm practically in tears right now because I found some old videos of him, from the time when I thought he loved me.... he did love me at one time, or so I thought anyways?
I keep having dreams... dreams that I'm with him... meeting him. I wake up crying because I know it'll never happen. I was crazy about him.
I find myself listening to songs that we both liked... bands that we both liked.... it reminds me, it hurts...
I cared about him so much and I still do... but he hurt me and I can't go back to that... not that he would want me in that way anymore, anyways.
I miss him... I miss those times... I miss staying up late at night talking to him...so much.
What did he want from me? He used me...
I just want to go back and unattach myself before it got so severe.
I want to go back and start over, knowing what I know now, Can't do that though.


The one I'm falling for.
On a brighter note, the guy I'm slowly falling for is awesome, I like him alot.
We don't live incredibly far apart and I think it could actually work out between the two of us.
I hope it does.... I need this... I really do. I hope he'll see that I really do care about him...maybe someday I can show it.



My mistake.
As for the guy that I mentioned last in the first paragraph, I fear that I may end up unintentionally hurting him... I really don't want to because he's a great guy and he deserves someone that'll give him her full devotion...I can't offer that, not when I feel the way that I do. I don't feel the same way that he does about me and I've led him on to believe that I feel the same as he does. Infatuation, I guess that is what you'd call it. I hate this. If I tell him, then I'll practically end up doing the same thing that the guy mentioned first did to me, but somewhat differently and perhaps with much thought behind it. I know how it feels, exactly how it feels. I'm sorry, so so sorry.



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I'll blog more later
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I know that my problems seem minor when compared to everyone else's... but it doesn't mean that they don't hurt just as bad.


Time can only heal some things.